A Day in the Life
One of my favorite songs, “A Day In The Life” by the Beatles, came to mind when thinking of a title for this column, which wasn’t the original post I had intended for today, but the events of the past 24 hours (Monday August 29th – Tuesday August 30th) kind of dictated what I should write about. I had decided that it was time to head back to Portland, for several reasons. I had hoped that I’d be able to find steady work and be able to stay in Los Angeles long term but unfortunately it didn’t work out. I
The Joy of Dancing
For most of my life I hated dancing. I can count on one hand the number of times I danced prior to my transition, and those were at the insistence of my wife when I was married. But then at the ripe old age of 53 I finally became enlightened and discovered how amazing it is to dance. Before I transitioned, dancing for me was sheer torture because I felt totally awkward and uncomfortable. Looking back I can see how my gender struggles played a large role in that; I wasn’t comfortable with myself or my body and I just
Thoughts on the party, the business, and personal accountability
The Grooby 20th anniversary party was every bit as wonderful as I imagined it would be. It was nice having so many people there to share in celebrating such a special occasion. But the best part was seeing friends and having the time to talk and reconnect. The night was filled with lots of laughs and hugs and smiles. We may have been there to celebrate the anniversary of a business, but more importantly, we were there to share this special occasion with the people who made it happen and those we have worked with and for. What made this
Grooby 20th Anniversary
This year marks the 20th anniversary of Grooby Productions. To mark this special occasion I wanted to do a column about what Grooby means to you; the fans, the models, the employees, the photographers, everyone. I asked you to share your thoughts about what makes Grooby special to you, whether it be the people, the events, the work they do, your favorite memories, or any other thoughts about Grooby. I really appreciate all the responses I received and I enjoyed reading what you had so say. It's clear that Grooby and the people who work for Grooby have touched many
Surviving, and asking for help
I have always considered myself very blessed to have the love and support of most of my family, especially my sons, because I know that is often not the case in the trans community. But I now find myself in the position of having lost so much of the love and support I once had, which has caused me to take a hard look at myself. I have lost the love of too many people in my life lately that it makes me wonder what is wrong with me; if all the progress I’ve made in the past two years
Jen Richards on being trans, the show Her Story, politics, The TSA, and Caitlyn Jenner
Jen Richards is a writer and actress who is the co-writer/star/producer of Her Story, a show about the dating lives of two transgender women, and was a series regular on I Am Cait. She is also a consultant & advocate focusing on gender and social justice. She was previously the Co-Founder and Director of The Trans 100, creator of the websites We Happy Trans, WTF Trans Dating, and Trans Love Stories, and co-hosted Sugar & Spice, an advice and news podcast with Bailey Jay. She was also the Managing Director of the multiple Grammy Award-winning music ensemble Eighth Blackbird, and
Becca Benz exclusive interview with: Becca Benz!
Hello Becca, and thank you for agreeing to do this interview! Thank you Becca, I’m a big fan of your writing and it’s an honor to be interviewed by you! Okay, seriously. I’ve been thinking about doing a question and answer column for a while now and I thought this would be fun to do. These are questions I routinely get asked, so I figured I’d answer them in a unique way like this! I hope you enjoy it. Are you single? Yes, I am currently single. I haven’t been in a relationship since before I transitioned, which is something
The truth about trans women and our penises
One of the most common misconceptions society has about trans women is that we all hate our penises and would like nothing better than to chop them off if we had the chance. To set the record straight, even if we elect to have Genital Reconstructive Surgery, the penis is not chopped off; rather it is inverted and used to construct a neo-vagina. And the reality is that the vast majority of trans women I know actually like their penises and have absolutely no desire to get rid of them. There are some trans women who do in fact hate
“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” – Kate Moss
“Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” – Kate Moss We’ve all heard that infamous quote made by Kate Moss in 2009 that sparked outrage and has also been used as a rallying cry by pro-eating disorder websites. I never really understood what she meant, but now I actually do, which is a bit alarming in some ways. The quote sums up the mentality that was so pervasive at the time; that models had to have the extremely thin “heroin chic” look in order to be successful. The pressure to be so thin led to an increase in eating disorders
Krista Michaels on art, politics, and being trans
Krista Michaels is someone I have a great deal of respect for and have wanted to interview for a long time, so I’m very excited to have this opportunity. She is socially aware and has strong opinions about the issues we face, and is very accomplished in a variety of areas. Krista has an eclectic mix of interests and reminds me in many ways of a modern-day renaissance woman. Hi Krista! It’s a pleasure to be able to interview you! Hi, Becca! Pleasure's all mine. :-) You are a very creative and artistic person and you express your creativity in
Aging Gracefully
When I first got into modeling I was worried about my age and considered it a hindrance to being successful. It was a harsh realization that the majority of models in the industry are the same ages as my sons. So I listed my age as ten years younger than my real age, which people accepted. But eventually I realized that being older and more mature was actually a good thing; it made me unique. So I embraced the age difference and later came out and admitted my real age, which really surprised people, but everyone has been very understanding
Struggling not to lose myself to depression
Depression affects nearly 15 million adults in the United States and is something which is all too common for those of us who are transgender; the two seem to go hand in hand. We all know the statistics, that 41% of trans people attempt suicide, which is 22 times more often than the general population. Most of us understand the causes and the treatments and learn how to deal with it well enough to get through the difficult times. There are numerous types of medications to treat depression, with new ones being developed every year, and therapy can also an
Krissy Kyung on trans identity, acceptance, and the division within our own community
In Part 2 of my interview with Krissy Kyung we touch on some of the important issues in the trans community that have been controversial and have often led to divisiveness within our own community. I hope it gets people to think about these issues and leads to some discussion. Â Last year you undertook the enormous challenge of teaching me html coding and how to build and manage WordPress sites, which has led to many good things happening in my career; I designed two sites of my own and will be designing a site for a friend in the
Krissy Kyung talks about the porn industry, modeling, and food!
Krissy Kyung, owner of the long-running and very successful site krissy4u.com is more than just a pornstar. She has an extensive blog network, is a Contributing Editor for Transformation Magazine, an author of trans erotica, an active member of the trans community, and a well-respected voice within the adult entertainment industry. I first met Krissy at a local club where we had both volunteered as maids at a Halloween party in 2014. I had done my first shoot for Grooby the month before and had no idea Krissy was in the industry, let alone that she was such a big
How HB2 inadvertently helped the trans community
While most people agree that North Carolina’s HB2 is a vile piece of legislation that should never have been passed, the good folks of North Carolina actually accomplished a lot with that piece of hateful and bigoted legislation. They managed to showcase to the entire nation exactly the type of hate and discrimination that we in the transgender community face, and they succeeded in mobilizing the trans community and its allies, along with bringing in many new and powerful allies to stand up and fight against this blatant attempt at discrimination. The reaction for most of us in the trans
Does online porn really lead to erectile dysfunction?
I recently read an interesting article about a possible correlation between watching online porn and erectile dysfunction, which almost seems counterintuitive. Or does it? In Time Magazine’s cover story from the April 11th issue, “Porn and the Threat to Virility,” author Belinda Luscombe writes, “A growing number of young men are convinced that their sexual responses have been sabotaged because their brains were virtually marinated in porn when they were adolescents. Their generation has consumed explicit content in quantities and varieties never before possible, on devices designed to deliver content swiftly and privately, all at an age when their brains
Interview with Steven Grooby – Part 2
Welcome back to Through The Benz! In Part 2 of my interview with Steven Grooby we focus on the industry and some of more important issues facing not only the industry but the trans community. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! It’s very apparent you care for the models you work with and for the trans community in general, and that Grooby does a lot to help those in the trans community. What do you feel are the biggest issues facing transgender people today? Do you feel the recent increase in legislation specifically
Interview with Steven Grooby – Part 1
Welcome to my new column Through The Benz! I am so excited to be writing for Grooby.com and to have this wonderful opportunity to be a voice for the adult entertainment industry and the transgender community. I hope you’ll enjoy the column and find it informative and entertaining, and I look forward to hearing your feedback. Let me know what you like or don’t like, and any suggestions you have for future columns.  Becca Benz has blogged since beginning her transition five years ago and has also written articles for various sites. She is a transgender model, artist, photographer
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