Transgender Day of Remembrance 2023

Every year, as a company, we internally process how to honor Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDoR). We discuss our responsibility to the trans community, our position in the adult industry, our position in the outside world, and what are the best ways we can do right considering those factors. For those who may not be familiar with TDoR, the annual event is held every November 20th and honors the memory of transgender individuals whose lives were lost due to acts of anti-transgender violence in the past year. It was started in 1999 by transgender advocate Gwendolyn Ann Smith as a vigil to honor Rita Hester, a trans woman killed in 1998 (GLAAD).

“Transgender Day of Remembrance seeks to highlight the losses we face due to anti-transgender bigotry and violence. I am no stranger to the need to fight for our rights, and the right to simply exist is first and foremost. With so many seeking to erase transgender people — sometimes in the most brutal ways possible — it is vitally important that those we lose are remembered, and that we continue to fight for justice.”
– Transgender Day of Remembrance founder Gwendolyn Ann Smith

What is our responsibility to our community on TDoR as a porn company? As a company, we want to be mindful of our position and stay in our respective lane, while also using our privilege to be allies to our community. I was talking to a queer trans therapist friend of mine about TDoR last week and he voiced his grief about the necessity of the event and the complexity of feelings that it brings up for many trans people. He spoke about how, regardless of how he spent his time on TDoR, the reality is that the transgender community faces a disproportionate amount of violence and violent death compared to non-LGBTQ individuals. Hate crimes against trans individuals are still often misreported, underreported, or not reported at all. This is the reality and weight of what the transgender community shoulders, and as allies, Grooby believes in the necessity of helping those we share community with through direct support, sharing knowledge and education in our business, and creating accessible resources.

My friend talked about the desire in wanting to celebrate trans joy, trans pleasure, trans visibility on TDoR–not at the expense or replacement of the grief, but as a way to hold space for both. However you spend this day, we invite you to do so with intentionality. Support your favorite trans performers today by tipping them generously, attending a TDoR vigil (in-person or online), learning more about what you can do to support the trans community, or donating to the Jazmin Shibata Scholarship that provides free therapy and letters of support to trans sex workers in California (email kristel@grooby.com for more information).

To learn more about TDoR, GLAAD has an informational page that includes education and resources for those who want to learn more or attend a TDoR vigil.

In Support,

Kristel, Steven, Mike, and Team Grooby