The truth about trans women and our penises

One of the most common misconceptions society has about trans women is that we all hate our penises and would like nothing better than to chop them off if we had the chance. To set the record straight, even if we elect to have Genital Reconstructive Surgery, the penis is not chopped off; rather it is inverted and used to construct a neo-vagina. And the reality is that the vast majority of trans women I know actually like their penises and have absolutely no desire to get rid of them.

There are some trans women who do in fact hate their penises because they view them as an obvious reminder that they are “not in the right body” and having a penis is a huge source of gender dysphoria for them. And some women simply want to transition all the way and remove any traces of their maleness. Each person is unique in what they want and how far they want to transition; there is no right or wrong way to be trans.

Many in society mistakenly cling to the idea that one’s gender identity is based on what genitals you have, which could not be further from the truth. I am every bit as much of a lady as a cis-woman even though I have a penis. Being a woman is about the way you think and feel, and the way you live your life and treat people. It is more about your attitude and state of being than your anatomy. Is a soldier who has lost his penis to a war injury less of a man? Is a woman who has had a hysterectomy and is unable to have children any less of a woman? Of course not.

And frankly, our genitals are usually safely tucked away were no one can see them and they generally aren’t an issue in the course of our daily lives. There are some situations, such as dating, when having a penis can be an issue and make life more complicated, but such is the nature of life; we all have our challenges to deal with. A bigger concern is our ability to “pass” and fit into society without it being obvious we are trans, which can make life a lot easier. Those who are easily read as being transgender face a more difficult life and are subjected to more discrimination and harassment. And our penises are pretty much a non-factor in whether or not we pass. But, having said that, not everyone is concerned about passing and fitting into society’s norms about what a woman is supposed to look like.

People come in all different shapes and sizes and with an infinite combination of body parts. One of the beautiful things about the human race is our diversity, and we should celebrate that uniqueness and embrace our differences instead of using as them an excuse for hate. We are all special and we all matter. Whether or not I have a penis have absolutely zero effect on the kind of person I am.